357 Days..

Today, Sept 13, 2010 my girlfriend and I broke up for real. After spending the last 357 days together we wont be seeing each other anymore. Sure we have talked about it many times but this time it is for real, we cannot be together for reasons beyond both of our control. I have many mixed feelings about this and that is why I am posting it on my blog; I hope someone else out there has had the same thing happen to them. I will never speak a bad word about this girl although like everyone else she had her flaws, we have been through more then I could ever imagine. Her parents got divorced the first week we started dating, she cheated on me after we got in a disagreement, this as well as many other things happened adding fuel to the fire which happens every time people get in a disagreement. When ever we argued all this and more would be brought up, making both of us feel the same way it did when it happened; like complete shit. I have tried to sit down and say we need to get past the past, a week ago she had gotten so drunk she tried to beat me, she tried to crash my car as i drove her home, then kicked her closet door in and then cried till I brought her back to my house to stay with me. Prior to all this she had been texting my friend behind my back and lying about who she was talking too and what it was about, regardless I overlooked everything and did what was right to make sure she was safe and got home. I know that I love her enough I can over look the past as long as we talk about it and move on and learn from our mistakes. She although cannot, which causes the issue I have; is it wrong that I can over look all these things? In my heart I have no doubt that I can look past everything but in my head I know I should have left a long time ago. I have no idea what to do right now, I feel like my life is spiralling downwards...